She was so tired. She felt as though she could sleep for days. She also felt like she maybe already had. She willed her eyes to open, but they were just too heavy. She tried to lift her arms, but they just didn’t want to. She would clench the muscles, but it felt as though someone had put two hundred pound weights on top of her. She just couldn’t get them to move. She didn’t even try her legs. She was so tired of trying. She went back into the land of nod.
She could hear someone moving in the room. She was not alone. She waited, and someone sat in the chair next to her. Again she tried to will her eyes open, to see who was seated beside her, but it wouldn’t work. Maybe the Monster had found her, here. After all, she had failed to put a bullet in him. She heard the click. She knew she had failed. And then the world slipped out of sight. She remembered hearing things coming out of the woods, but she did not see what it was. Maybe the attacker had come back. Maybe she was captured! She tried to move, tried to scream, but she couldn’t get much more out than a moan and a wiggle. She was trapped!
She could feel the sun on her face, so she knew it must be day time. She had lived to see another day. This is great, she reminded herself,but she wouldn’t actually see it until her eyes opened.
Then she realized she had been bound the last time sun was on her face. She tried to feel her wrists for the ropes, but she could only get her arms to wiggle and jerk. Panic overwhelmed her. She was still incapacitated!
It hurt to breath, and her panic increased her breaths. Adrenaline coursed through her body. She wanted to run, but couldn’t.
Calm down. Think it through. She tried to take in her surroundings despite her closed eyes. Tried to assess her situation.
No. She couldn’t be captured, she decided. She could smell the familiar sanitary air of a hospital. She heard the blips and beeps, and she felt the monitors on her fingers, her arm, and the familiar oxygen cord in her nose.
She wondered how she had gotten here. She felt confident the Monster would not have brought her here.
But she knew she hadn’t killed the drunk bastard, either.
It was all so confusing. Her chest hurt. There was a hand on her. A familiar hand. She stilled, and then the blackness swallowed her thoughts and she drifted away.
She awoke again to his voice speaking gently to her. The kindness always evident in all of his actions.
“We got him. He is in jail. You are safe.” He crooned. “I’ve got you. Just relax. I’ll watch out for you for as long as you need.”
Such music to her ears. She listened intently. Hoping he would explain more to her, but he just held her hand, tracing her features in that familiar way. She tried to open her eyes, and she got them to flutter for a second, but that’s all she could do. He stilled. She tried again, but the effort exhausted her, and she slipped back away.
This time she could hear voices, doctors or nurses describing technical jargon that she didn’t understand. Something this, something that. It was more than she could take in. She was just so done. Maybe life was just too much for her. Maybe she was just always going to be too stupid to figure things out. Maybe the Monster would always win, and her running just extended his game. This shame caused her heart to ache on top of the pain everywhere else, and she went back to the darkness willfully.
She head Boss’ voice this time. “How’s she doing?”
“As well as can be expected” she heard Mr. Goodlooking reply. “The doctors say she has full brain function. It is just up to her if she wants to wake up.” She heard his voice choke up. He cleared his throat and finished, “I know she’ll wake up. She’s not a quitter.”
“You’re right. She’s one of the toughest women I’ve ever met. She’ll pull through,” Boss replied.
It’s up to her! Oh it was not going to be easy. Just taking a breath was an effort. Keeping her eyelids open for more than a second at a time was an effort. It all exhausted her so quickly. But she heard the need in his voice. He needed her to wake up. And if Boss said she could do it, well she damn well had better.
She willed her eyes open, and they fluttered for a second, but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t get them to stay. She tried to talk, but her lips wouldn’t form a single letter, only coming out as a pathetic whine. She took a deep breath and tried again. She tried to flex her fingers. She felt them flinch for a moment, progress, but it didn’t last long.
She was mad at herself. She would try again. Just as soon as she woke up from this quick little nap. And off she went.