She didn’t know what to say. How could she say that she’s pretty certain she saw the Monster’s car drive past the office window today? How could she tell him that the Monster will never stop looking for her. He will always stalk her, haunt her, and keep her scarred. Even if it wasn’t him, she will always be looking over her shoulder, ready to spook, ready to run and not look back. That’s not fair in a relationship, to bring that kind of baggage; not fair to anyone.
How could she explain that she was a fake. Yes, she liked him, she thought he was amazing actually. But he deserved better. He deserved someone who could sleep through the night without waking up screaming, someone who could return the many favors he offered her, someone who could keep him safe, not lure a Monster to his doorstep.
She would never forgive herself if something happened to Tucker because she couldn’t find the courage to leave soon enough. Today was a reminder of that. The longer she stayed, the more she put those around her at risk. She would finish up her work week. The project was complete. She could more than likely get hired on full time and make this last a little longer, but the longer she stayed, the higher the possibility that she would be found. She was hoping to stretch it out a while longer, possibly until fall, but seeing that car drive past her office today really spooked her.
“It’s just best if I leave sooner rather than later.”
“How soon do you have to leave?” he asked, the pain evident in his voice.
“This weekend” she replied.
“So I’ve still got tonight?” he asked hopefully as he moved in a bit closer. She was emotionally drained. She couldn’t find the energy to resist him, so she let him come.
‘Tonight’ implied that she would finally get the physical release she had been so desperately craving. Every time she was around him, her arousal grew stronger and more tangible. It would be a dream come true to take him to bed, but that couldn’t happen.
If she wasn’t careful, he would see the scars. He would see those lines that marred her body. He would feel betrayed, lied to, lead on. She couldn’t survive that kind of rejection, not from him.
Her chest ached. Her body hurt physically from the mental anxiety she had given herself.
The only way she could answer is with no. So she shook her head, and the tears pricked the back of her eyes again. She just turned and headed toward the stairs, completely depleted.